How to Avoid Problems When You Relocate
Laura Lorber

A medical information manager and mother of two in Princeton, N.J., isn't happy about moving to a quiet Minneapolis suburb for her husband's job. Her two sons, who are in their early teens, won't be either -- when they find out. They won't know until two weeks before the movers pull up, a strategy that will eliminate a summer of complaints from them. They'd protested bitterly for months before they moved to New Jersey from San Diego four years ago, though they adjusted quickly once they'd arrived and started at their new school. 

She doesn't want to go through it all again.

As a professional with her own career, she's also upset about leaving her job and casts a jaded eye toward spousal-assistance programs, which she's been through before and found to be of limited use.

Common Problems

This family is anticipating two of the most common problems employees experience when they transfer, relocation consultants say. Relocation is rarely easy or trouble free. But many problems are predictable. That's good news for transferees who have relocated two or more times, but not so good for the uninitiated who relocate only once -- 52% of all relocators. 

Being prepared can help you make better decisions and ease the transition. Here are some of the snafus you can expect to encounter when you move to take a new job:

1. Your children resent the move. Many people wait until the summer to move so their children       can finish the school year. This can be a mistake, says Richard Otto, sales manager at the             Impact Group, a career transitions service provider in St. Louis. Children generally are happier       if they can start immediately in school, where it's easier to meet friends, even if it means                 picking up mid-year. Otherwise, they could spend the summer months isolated in their new           home, moping and resenting the move.

   "Teenagers are not real enthralled about moving. It's not so hard on younger ones," adds Mr.       Otto. Teenagers' budding social lives are just beginning to become all-important, he explains.       Expect to suffer heavy damages on your phone bills, he warns.

    Getting the kids involved in the move will also help smooth the adjustment, says Mr. Otto.           Explain why you're making the change, why it's important and what it will mean. Let the                 children help plan some aspects of the move and make them feel part of the process early on.

2. Your spouse can't find work. As more women build careers and more households depend on       two incomes, many relocating couples struggle with this issue. Additionally, more men are           finding themselves in the position of being the trailing spouse as their wives pursue                       high-powered jobs that require them to relocate.

    Some companies offer career counseling and job placement for the trailing spouse, says                 Dennis Ransdell, vice president of corporate relations at ReloAction, a Pleasanton, Calif.,               relocation management company. However, few have policies in place across the board. If you     want assistance, you may want to negotiate a package before accepting an offer, he adds.

    The need for such support can vary according to where you live and what kind of position           you're taking, says Mr. Ransdell. Employers in the Midwest are less likely to offer help as             fewer couples there depend on two incomes. A second paycheck also can be less important to     senior-level executives who are more likely to earn higher incomes, he says.